A letter to all the over-opinionated people online: STOP HATING

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 SOME time ago, I posted a Facebook status about how describing ex. girlfriends as “Crazy” is both lazy and detrimental.

A friend (by proxy) of mine then saw the status and commented 

"Yeah! Tell them like it is. Us women are DONE being oppressed by men."

At first, I had two thoughts. The first being “Oh wow I keep forgetting that actual people are actually seeing my posts” which got me a bit weirded out like, hey, I won’t talk to people if I’ve got a book in my hand, but I’m perfectly okay with sharing intimate thoughts online where hundreds of random people are privy to viewing them. Go, priorities!

My second thought was:

“Holy cow titties, this is one of those girls those anti-feminist 9gag memes are based off of.” Because whilst not being entirely informed about said girl's lifestyle, I do know enough about her to know that a part-time model from an affluent family with top-notch private education couldn’t in all seriousness call herself “oppressed”, using the generally accepted definition of the word.

Now, I’m a self-identified third wave feminist. And before you puke blood, I need to make one thing clear.

1. A feminist does not mean someone who fights for female supremacy - that’s misandry (Consider yourself educated, go you) - but instead someone who fights for equal rights.

Rights like the right to marry/and/or/not marry, the right to bear/and/or/abort children, the right to shave and/or/not shave.  Super simple stuff, also known as the right to be treated like another human being and not another NPC*, made to substantiate your backstory, character development and to make your gameplay feel a little less soul-crushingly alone. Yes, it’s a horribly ineffective name. Yes, there are some crazy people who believe that the male universe is out to get them. Every point has its exceptions but let’s try to keep with the program, people.

Anyway, I consider myself a feminist, along with a couple other things – reader, procrastinator, intern – and I don’t get all the hate. Why is it that some people believe that supporting one cause means you have to, by default, be against the other?

Feminist? You must hate men. Pro-choice? You must hate life.  Atheist? Enjoy everlasting damnation, infidel.

Like, dude, just because I like bacon doesn’t mean I can’t love my broccoli.

There was this other occasion where, if you recall, FMFA got cancelled because of some kids overdosing on a bad batch and dying. Khairy then came out and said that by banning future music festivals (pun unintended), authorities were basically just bandaging a bullet hole, or something along those lines, which I thought was a pretty stand-up thing to say, seeing as he was a party member and politician and all that.

A friend of mine disagreed. He was dead-set to disagree with anything Khairy said, and this is why: Khairy’s in Barisan Nasional.

This is what I’m afraid of. Not just that people would accuse others of opposing some things because they supported another, but that people would actually internalize that mind-set and think that the only way to support A was by opposing B.

My friend earnestly thought that by being against everything BN, he was supporting the Opposition. Mathematically, this makes sense – by refusing one party’s vote, you are in a way, contributing to the opposing side. But if you’ve made it this far down my post, then I know that you know (because you’re just that clever) that things aren’t that simple. To keep things short, a party is only as good as the people in it and the causes it stands for. By supporting a party through their dumbest decisions, we’re only telling them that they can get away with anything. Now, I’ve been awake long enough through my History classes to know that that can’t end well.

Gentle computer girl is getting real tired of your anger-filled shit

So here’s what’s happening: It has become fashionable to hate. Instead of promoting modesty and self-respect, our politicians want to wage a war against women in shorts and pink underwear on Valentine’s Day. Instead of launching racial equality and love throughout the country, they point fingers at the other side and accuse them of stirring up trouble. Instead of wanting women to be just as capable, resourceful and respected as their Y-chromosomed counterparts, some people prefer to accuse men for the issues present when really, it’s a whole lot more complicated than that.

Why? Because it’s just easier to.

Because politicians need a more direct way to say “We’re on your side”. Because hate generates a more passionate response than quiet tenacity. Because we ourselves get swept up in the heated hulabuloo that ensues. Take your pick.

So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to try to be a little more informed than I am opinionated. I’m going to apologize to every single person I’ve had a pointless tirade against. I’m going remember that enemies aren’t always people but ideas, thoughts and emotions.

Also, if you’re still with me at this point, try and keep in mind that your judgemental attitude against another person’s judgemental attitude doesn’t make you a better person; you’re just contributing to the problem. 


*Non-playable character. Like that guy who keeps telling you about the arrow in his knee.


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